Saturday, March 30, 2013

Faith in Times of Doubt

Sometimes, the hardest part of recovery is having faith that recovery is possible.  You may have a setback with your mental health or fall off the wagon and just not know the strength you have to find a way to keep going.  I know there were many times I gave up in my struggles and it looked like the darkness had won.  Just to put it in perspective from my own personal standpoint, I tried to kill myself 3 times and for 6 years I refused meds and was completely psychotic and delusional.  As for sobriety, it took many failed attempts before this time where I have stayed sober over 10 years.  Once I made it as long as 8 months only to fail.  And no, I'm never done taking it one moment at a time.

You never really know either, in this life, when you're going to come up against what seems like an insurmountable barrier.  Even if you've been sober and stable for a while, an event can happen that causes you to be in crisis.  Mental illness and the tendency for substance abuse are both genetic, so you don't really know what could trigger a relapse.  It doesn't mean that all hope is lost. You have to know that you are stronger than you think and you can recover again and again.  And it is worth it every time!  YOU are worth it every time!

Peace to all in their hour of darkness.  May we all continue to stumble towards the light!

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