I was on the wrong meds, but serendipitously, I finally got really angry about all the abuse and found room in my heart to cry for myself. The meds had to be switched, because I was bit too rattled and my doctor thought maybe to not open the window quite that much. I haven't forgotten, though, and I'm not the same now.
It was never my fault in the first place, but I used to seek out the wrong place at the wrong time, mistaking it for something special.
What I've come to understand is that heaven is all around us and it doesn't advertise. I don't want to "stay interesting." It's quite enough to stay sober. Stay on my meds. Keep a healthy daily schedule. Do something creative. And slowly, I am learning from family and friends to love and be loved. I'd say that's quite a full plate.
So, I don't do much of anything these days that counts for a news flash, but I have plenty of stories begging to be told. As you read them, you might want to remember: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.