Monday, March 25, 2013

anxiety angst

I'm feeling really anxious in general today and it's frustrating. I get like this sometimes for no good reason. At least, I can't seem to find a trigger. I do have a lot of triggers for anxiety - I think that's pretty normal. But I also get this anxiety that I believe is pure biochemical. It's not a full blown panic attack - just this scared feeling in the pit of my stomach and some shakiness. I don't even have a sense of impending doom. It's more like something IS wrong than something will go wrong. Just one of those days, I guess.  So, this is an anxiety attack, which is not as harsh as a panic attack.

I do take klonapin (clonazepam) 2mg every night to help with the anxiety in general and if I start having a panic attack during the day I have a PRN for an extra .5mg, of klonapin, but like I said, it's not that bad today - it's just mostly irritating. The idea is just to relax, breathe, listen to calm music, work out and / or do anything peaceful.

I know a lot of people who do go through or have gone through anxiety and panic.  Without a benzodiazepene, like klonapin, I can't function.  I have a lot of social phobia, which even extends to my immediate family.  Sometimes, like today, I just don't even feel like talking about it.  It just makes me upset.  I don't want to feel this way, but I can't shake it. This blog makes me feel as if I'm telling everybody without having to go through the exhausting process of communicating more directly.  Ugh. I just want to relax.

Okay, (sigh) I can do this.

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