Friday, February 21, 2014

What Can Happen When You Get a Little Manic

Impulsivity. That's what happens.  They call it "poor impulse control."  The day before yesterday I was looking through the Yahoo! groups for a group I could relate to and, not finding one quickly, I suddenly decided to start my own group.

Now, this may not seem like a big deal.  It's really easy to start a Yahoo! group.  That was the problem, though.  What's hard is getting one going and maintaining it. I already have a website and this blog to maintain and really, I spend enough time online.

But none of that is the crux of the problem.  I saw my therapist yesterday and told her about the group and talked about how I've been doing and she suggested that I was still a bit on the manic side. You might be asking, "why, just because you started a discussion group online?"  No, but because there was very little thought involved in getting into what could become a big commitment.  When was I going to have the time to promote and moderate this group?  The truth is, I hadn't really given that a second thought.

Still, this may not add up to manic in your mind, but it's, let's say, "a little bit of manic."  I was the only member (LOL) so it was easy enough to simply delete the group. In short, no harm done.  But this is exactly the kind of mindset that leads to a sudden impulse to do anything - and if you're lucky that anything is okay.

The concern is that poor impulse control leads to things like a spur of the moment shopping spree that you can't afford, a drink you shouldn't take, the start of a destructive relationship, or, God forbid, a slash across the wrist, etc.  I got lucky this time because no one got hurt and no damage was done.

I'm on the alert now, though, that I'm in an impulsive mindset and so I'm going to focus on basic daily priorities and try to stay grounded.  Let's hope that helps.


  1. I tend to do the same kind of thing during mania. At first it will seem like a small, feasible idea, but then I just run with it, making it bigger and better and completely out of proportion to anything I could possibly pull off for very long at a time. It's really hard to trust my instincts because they are so all over the place. What I think I can do one day I am sure I can't the next...and it's hard to know which version of me is right.

  2. I totally know what you mean and I question my judgment all the time. Sometimes when I'm manic I get these brilliant ideas or get a bunch of stuff accomplished. And society says productivity = good, right? But what about when what I'm doing makes no sense? And then what happens is I can't keep up with it.