Friday, April 26, 2013

Recovery Process Resumes Anew

Over the weekend I was writing about some serious visual hallucinations I was having.  They seem to have stopped now for a few days and maybe it was just a passing phase.  I really won't know unless they come back, which I hope they don't.  I did ask my therapist when I should be concerned about visual hallucinations and learned the the basic rule of thumb is equivalent to auditory hallucinations.  The key is what you are seeing?  Is is disturbing? Do you see yourself or someone else hurting someone or being hurt by someone?  If so, it's time to get help.  Otherwise you can do your best to ignore them just let auditory hallucinations.  Fortunately, I just saw implausible things, but nothing disturbing, so, phew.

What I have learned from this week of strange visions is how to hold on through yet another kind of bump in the road.  I was scared, but now I'm even more prepared for my mind to come up with psychotic issues / delusions that I'm not expecting.  I'm trying to brace myself for future occurrences by assuring myself that if I stick to the plan - meds, support network, ask for help as needed - that I should be okay no matter what happens.  But there's a definite insecurity that goes along with mental illness: what will my mind do next?
But you never know what's going to happen in this life no matter who you are, so it's best to stay prepared, keep a good attitude, and ride out the waves the best you can.

Now, that probably comes off a lot more confident than I feel, but I figure if tell myself all that enough times, maybe I'll believe it just enough to get through the rough spots.





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