D.A.I.S.Y.

That's right:  Da Inner Sound Y'all.  That good feeling about your own personal groove.  Anybody out there remember De La Soul's album "Three Feat High and Rising?"  Hip hop is some of the best poetry I know.  Why I'm thinking about daisies today is because there's a line in the song "The Magic Number" that asks, "what does it all mean?"

At first I thought of this website and blog as just something to do - a way to be creative and fill my time. If I'm really being honest, I was bored and wanted to feel relevant.  But it came to my attention today that are still not a great number of resources for mental illness and substance abuse issues.  They exist, but for the number of people affected or who care about someone who has been affected, there's nowhere near enough.  On top of that there are still so many stereotypes and misunderstandings. I mean, I have a dual diagnosis and I still struggle to figure out what that means to me.  There's the concrete stuff like the meds and visits to the local psych clinic, and the lack of things like alcohol and drugs.  There are the voices and other delusions that are a little harder to get at directly.  But I had a stigma about my own diagnosis for a long time.  Now, I've only surrounded myself by a very small group of supportive people, but that's just it - it comes down to a very small number of people.  For one thing, when you get sober you can't hand out with the people you used with anymore, so that really thins the herd, and then the diseases themselves often lead to a sense of isolation.  It can be really lonely. And, if people who are in recovery are questioning themselves, where does that leave loved ones or the general public?

Yesterday, I talked about how I realized this blog could help educate people.  (I was originally going for bold, artistic and entertaining.) Now that I'm starting to see some traffic it's occurring to me that by sharing my experiences, by creating another space for this type of discussion, I'm adding to the pool of resources.  In other words, I could really help somebody. Duh! Right?  But I totally didn't take myself seriously at first.  So, I guess I feel the weight of a bit of responsibility, since these are such serious and life-changing subjects.

If you haven't checked the website out lately, I've started a new Links page to other online resources. They always say if what you do helps even one person, then it's worth it.  I agree.  I hope that this site helps you and that you will share your thoughts with me.  As De La Soul reminds us, "the effect is 'Mmmm' when a daisy grows in your mind."  If I can help one daisy grow, whether or not I know about it, then, yay!