succeeding despite illness

"Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at." - Stephen Hawking

I liked this quote for today, because I'm struggling with my own definition of success.  It used to be that I defined myself by how well I was doing in school, or how my career was progressing, or the status of my relationships.  All those meters have been rendered meaningless by by mental illness.  Yet, I'm trying to make meaning out of my daily life.

In the hospital once, they told me, "your job is to take care of you."  In truth, that's quite a task in itself.  Why do I need something more?  It's really a challenge just to get through the day without succumbing to anxiety or depression.   I'm always in the process of ignoring hallucinations or trying to balance my mood, let alone stay sober.

So, if I'm succeeding at getting through the day without doing anything dangerous or stupid, you'd think I'd feel a great sense of accomplishment.  Some days, I do.  Some days there are vestiges of those old standards that nag at me.  Most of the time these days, I'm looking for something that I could realistically succeed at now.  I think that many people with severe disabilities feel this way.  Maybe it's why I started blogging.

So, I will take Stephen's advice and continue to be curious about myself and the world I live in.  His message is important to anyone who feels like they failed or "can't keep up."  I will be interested to see how I can succeed under my circumstances.  And I think anyone can. if you keep an open mind.